it's been real blogger, but I so much prefer my tumblr blog. Not blogging for months on tumblr made me fall in love with it all over again haha, AND thanks to tumblr, I met someone new and he goes to my school ! ! What type of crazy shit is that! haha, we've been messaging back and forth and we have a few mutual friends. This is such a small small small!!! world. . . .lol. See ya blogger, I think we need some space from one another, peace! :)

Real classy man

What sucks balls is telling this person you sorta love them and not feeling loved in return. Not like I was expecting him to say it back, but I had high hopes he would of given me a chance. A chance to just be able to prove myself and make him happy. But like always, shit doesn't work out.

I finally got tired of this damn cycle it always goes like this, drunk text? half the time, meet up, talk for a bit, and have sex but this time I won't lie out of the three times this was like the best. The other two times sucked so badly, like I was so iffy on doing it again with him Saturday but it was worth it, then like a dumbass I get a bit emotionally and start pouring my feelings and his line is always "I don't like you like that, lets just be friends I'm sorry" but then during sex you have the audacity to say you feeling something between us, get the fuck out. I admit I was depressed all night after he left and all throughout yesterday but today, I woke up feeling angry at him.

He fucked up. And he's going to miss me when I'm gone.

asshole.

I need to get fucked up for the first time in months tonight. No questions asked. The end.

Show me

I want someone to be afraid of losing me, at least once. I am always the damn one to be afraid of losing people in my life that I don't want to let go. But unfortunately people come and go

Not everyone is your friend

It's not right, but it happens. You may not notice it in the beginning but eventually the person or people you call "friends" or "best friends" will soon become strangers in a minute. And I'm tired of the bullshit. Those whom care about me and actually wanted to see me when I moved into my dorm on Friday, made time for me. I got to see all my friends. So those are the ones I'm going to continue speaking too, not fake ones whom don't have five minutes at least to say hey to you or ignore you when you live so close. Fuck that. No more going back to that crap, not again like last year. So my friend, you fucked up.

Oh boy, here it comes

being on this medication is not only going to change me but I'm going to be having random mood swings and I hope it doesn't get too overboard -__-

and no I am not pregnant . . .  if anything I have lost 12 pounds =D and I am going to continue losing weight until I reach my goal.

The only thing I am going to be doing when I'm at college is go to classes, work out, and study and hopefully work. Goodbye social life! at least until December

Are we sisters?

This blog I came across to on tumblr literally took the words right out of my mouth. . . I feel as if I can legit relate to her. . this is what she had to say. . .

I feel ugly.  I’m in a movie my friend is making and I just look at the footage and think “If only I didn’t have a breakout that week.”  It sucks.  I remember basing the week we would film around when my skin would be the clearest.  And this boy I like.  Man I just know he probably likes me as a person, but I feel like he’s probably not attracted to me.  I mean who wants to kiss a broken out face?  I just want people to notice my eyes, my smile, my lips, my personality, my talent.  Not my acne.
I’ve noticed minor flare ups but they aren’t angry or red.  Just more stuff starting to come to the surface. My lips are fine and my skin hasn’t been noticeably dry.

http://rachelhadacne.tumblr.com/page/11

Keep it a secret

I need to stop this nonsense of writing personal things on my blog, who knows who reads them or checks up on me three to four times a day hoping I write something even more personal. Matter a fact, I should legit buy myself a journal. I miss the days where it was so easy to open up to a new clean page and write away without worrying if someone out there was reading it. . .

I'm going to do that, I'm going to go out to urban outfitters and try and buy myself a journal :)

It's time to start dating

I want to meet new people and go on dates. I didn't think I would be saying this too soon but I kinda want to be in a relationship. But just because I want to be in one doesn't mean I want to rush into things. I want to be in a relationship with someone I have known for a period of tome. . Someone whom I can call my best friend and boyfriend :)

I feel like I have lost myself with all this shit

Let it go and let it be

If you think your words hurt me, you're wrong

Because they didn't, reading your e-mail made me laugh and made a good 1 minute conversation with my cousins lol. How many times do I have to hear/read the words, "you failed to give me happiness" like get over yourself, you are so fucking immature and such a little boy who still hasn't grown up. You didn't make me happy but did I go rubbing it in your face? No I didn't because I know you are not the only one to blame for the downhill relationship. It took the both of us, not just me. And I could give to bloody shit balls about your girlfriend lmao! Like they are two sick people with big egos who legit think I am thinking about them two 24/7 when I think nothing of them.

When I stopped talking to you while I was in Albany, I did so because I couldn't take your over control personality anymore. If I didn't respond to you within 2 minutes, you assumed I was hooking up with someone, if I didn't call you back it meant I was hooking up as well. Like everything led to me hooking up with someone that just shows how insecure you were about yourself. And just because you have a new girlfriend doesn't mean you are going to stop doing that.

Besides, I doubt anything new has come out of your mouth because you love to recycle your "wonderful words" you've told all your gfs and dates the same shit, oh I love you, oh I want to spend the rest of my life with you baby, I want you to be the mother of my children, I want to grow old with you lmao! oh oh! you are my soulmate, marry me. LMAO oh gosh haha, please, I feel so bad for his future girlfriends, he even laid hands on one of his ex's and I believed him that he didn't but now I hate that I did because his previous ex had proof and could of sent him to jail.

Glad I am done with this little boy. Poor guy, never will he grow up and see his own mistakes.. 

take me back. . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFhYJEOI0L4

Give it to me

I want to be able to find someone whom I can be myself with. I want to find someone whom I can laugh with, pull pranks on, have serious as well as funny talks with, go on adventures, just have that special someone whom I can go too whenever I need them or whenever I want to hang out.
I don't think I am in the right stage of mind to have a boyfriend, I don't even think I want one. I want someone who is drama free. Someone who doesn't take life so seriously and can balance me out.

I am one confused human being at times, but I'm just human too.

I might have a new stalker

maybe I do, maybe I don't. But judging the fact that I have received two e-mails saying my ex's current girlfriend was following me on a twitter was amusing. I was not angry at all, rather woke up to a good laugh lol. And to think that she might be looking for me in all of the social networks is creepy ! I didn't even know she had twitter haha, until I saw the e-mail but I ignored it and just decided to make a joke out of it, I don't need to look her up on any social network because she isn't important to me, she has no significant purpose in my life. And to think i want my ex back, give me a break! Yeah, I use to miss him because he was a good friend and I wanted to see if it was just possible to be friends, I didn't know it was such a crime to say I miss you to a friend because the last time she freaked the fuck out lmao, that just showed her insecurities, poor thing.

THE POINT OF THIS POST: Stalkers are some serious shit, but people, just learn to laugh about it because they are here to amuse you :) Stalkers , such as mine, are there to breathe your every step of the day. They are anxious to know what you are up too, or if you are secretly talking their current boyfriends haha.